bell hooks is a well-known black feminist author. She notes that dealing with the fundamental feminist problem of patriarchy requires helping men find better ways through life. She also notes that many men are themselves hurt by patriarchy. Men are often held back from their best lives because of shortsighted stereotypes of masculinity. In this book, she offers her reflections on how to help men heal from a culture of domineering and to enhance their relational skills.
This book seems centrally geared towards a female audience. She uses terminology like “patriarchy” and “emotionally wounded” common to feminist literature. These words are not words most men I know typically use. Were she to address a male audience, I suggest that she find substitutes like “domineering culture” or simply “hurt.” Courageously, she criticizes how women often internalize and support a patriarchal culture to the detriment of men and themselves. This book nonetheless represents a woman’s perspective on men, not a man’s perspective on men. I’m not sure a lot of men will appreciate it, just as a lot of women might not appreciate a book written by a man about women.
As a man who values women, I appreciated how she educated me about women’s frustrations with men. I took issue with one chapter, though: the one about boyhood. She lays out a generic narrative about boyhood that simply doesn’t seem true to my personal experience. I have no doubt the abstraction applies to some boys, but just like feminism values the diversity of women’s experiences, I contend that a variety of boyhood experiences exist that aren’t easily summarized in one overarching story. We all interact with patriarchal culture in different ways, and any account of boyhood should acknowledge this fact.
Overall, this book offers an interesting investigation to gender relationships. We live in an era where many prominent men are emotionally stunted and devalue what used to be regarded as noble virtues. As hooks contends, many men simply need to “grow up.” Turning the tables, she observes that many women do, too. Feminists must take on the courage to confront domineering men in their lives and not tolerate them as partners. As a man, I fully support this ideal as a way of bettering family lives and seek to adopt it more in my own life.
The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love
By bell hooks
Narrated by Janina Edwards
Copyright (c) 2020
Simon & Schuster Audio
ASIN B082DMQTHW
Length: 6:05
Genre: Society
www.amazon.com