As LGBTQ+ people recently have gained increased societal acceptance, more children become “out” and self-aware of themselves, often at a young age. This effect is a good thing because it prevents youth from feeling oppressed for who they are. The social support for those “coming out” is increasing, but support for parents of those children is presently lacking. Mostly, parents are admonished to be supportive, but they usually lack a safe space to sort out their own feelings. Relying on their children to educate them is a bad idea, and many healthcare workers and counselors lack deep empathy about these parents. In Australia and Canada, Tracy Whitmore has built a career around helping parents navigate these waters so that they reduce harm to their children and enact their love for their children. This book distills her advice in an accessible, written format.
When a child first “comes out,” most parents react by being overwhelmed. Some never escape this emotional state and so never embrace their children for who they truly are. Whitmore coaches us beyond remaining overwhelmed. Then she progressively peels the proverbial onion so that the parents themselves become self-aware. Such self-knowledge in turn aids them in making clearer decisions that help the entire family.
In remaining chapters, she discusses deeper topics like beliefs, values, thoughts, and emotions. She also explores how to repair inevitable damage that has occurred in the past and how to celebrate your child for who they are. Her philosophy posits that parents can better support their children by undertaking this process alongside them. This approach doesn’t mean that the kids always (or ever) see the parents’ processing; it just means that the parents do the processing, too, so that they can love their kids better.
Though independently published and prey to the occasional grammatical error, this book hits a growing audience of parents of LGBTQ+ youth. Sorting out one’s gender and sexuality seems to be becoming a standard part of adolescent development. A heteronormative society is slowly being replaced by a more welcoming, diverse world. This book’s message allows parents to come to terms with themselves so that they can love others better. By uniquely addressing a pressing need, it fills a looming gap in the literature. Parents who can’t figure out how to navigate this difficult road should certainly seek therapeutic help, but they also should read this book as a thoughtful, key part of their own journey.
It’s About You Too: Reducing the Overwhelm for Parents of LGBTQ+ Kids
By Tracy Whitmore
Copyright (c) 2023
Independently Published
ISBN13 9781739031602
Page Count: 249
Genre: Parenting, Psychology
www.amazon.com